Unrequited
by in-reveries
Summary: It didn't matter if she didn't love him back. Only her happiness did. /Oneshot


King's Cross Station, Platform 9¾, 1971 

The first time Sirius noticed her, was when he was boarding the Hogwarts Express for the first time.

He was sitting in a compartment alone, having managed to get away from his cousins Bellatrix and Narcissa. Having nothing to do, he gazed out the window to observe the many Hogwarts students milling around in the platform.

A small family caught his eye. From what they were wearing, he presumed they were Muggles. The family had two daughters, a blonde who somewhat bore a resemblance to a horse and a redhead who was facing away from him.

As he watched, he began to frown. Instead of a tearful farewell, he was witnessing what seemed to be a fight.

The older girl seemed to have the final say – her mouth formed a word that looked suspiciously like 'freak' – before she turned away and stalked off to the barrier that led to the Muggle station.

He directed his attention back to the younger girl, who was now sobbing and hugging her mother. S

irius made a face. He shuddered at a mental image of his mother hugging him. Hell would freeze over before he'd let that happen. The whistle started to blow, and the red-haired girl climbed onto the train with one last glance back at her parents.

* * *

><p><span>Hogwarts Castle, Great Hall, 1971 <span>

"Evans, Lily."

Sirius started - it was that red-haired girl. When the house shouted that she was sorted to Gryffindor, he clapped enthusiastically.

"My name's Sirius Black."

"I'm Lily. Nice to meet you."

Sirius grinned, "You have nice hair. It matches Gryffindor."

She blushed at his compliment and started to stammer, "Th-thanks" but then he continued, "Of course, your hair is nowhere as shiny or smooth as mine." Sirius flipped his elbow-length hair back for good measure. Lily gave him a dirty look. "Your hair looks nice, on a _girl_," was all she could come up with as a retort.

"Ah, but you do admit my hair is nice," he smirked.

Lily just glared.

* * *

><p><span>Hogwarts Castle, Library, 1972<span>

Lily was concentrating hard on the obscure text she was reading, trying and failing to make sense of it. An hour later, she still had not written any more than two words – her name. Lily groaned in frustration. The essay was due tomorrow and she still couldn't understand the abstract concepts behind animal transfiguration. Transfiguration just wasn't her forte.

"Lily Evans. Wonderful. Those 2 words would be sufficient to get you an O, I'm sure."

Lily looked up and scowled. "Go away, Black. I'm trying to study here."

Sirius arched his eyebrows, "Well, I was going to offer my help, but since you seem to be doing perfectly on your own…" he trailed off.

Sirius turned to leave.

Lily fought an internal battle with herself: Black was an annoying pest, and he was bound to want something back in exchange for helping her. But he _was_ the best in Transfiguration, and she really was short of time.

"Wait!" Sirius stopped in his tracks. "Do you mind teaching me?" Lily asked quietly, her cheeks burning embarrassedly. "Why, of course not, Ms Evans," Sirius bowed gallantly. Then he took the seat beside her and proceeded to spend the next hour coaching her through the topic.

An hour later, they were finally done.

"Thanks, Black. I appreciate it."

"No need to be so formal, Lily, dear. We're housemates after all, you can call me Sirius. Oh, and it was my pleasure," Sirius winked teasingly.

Lily smiled in response. "Goodnight, Sirius," she called out before leaving.

Sirius didn't reply. He was rather distracted by a revelation that just struck him – Evans has a very pretty smile.

* * *

><p><span>Hogsmeade Village, The Three Broomsticks, 1973<span>

The four boys sipped their butterbeers, uncharacteristically silent, each absorbed in his own thoughts. James was the first to break the silence.

"I think I like someone."

The other three exchanged glances. James looked up at their lack of reaction.

"Well, aren't you three going to say anything?"

"No, not really."

"You see, Prongs, it really is quite obvious you like her. You could barely take your eyes off her, after all."

James raised his eyebrows. "Alright, if you think you know so much, who is it that I like?"

The three chorused immediately : "Lily Evans".

James blinked. Then he started to blush. He didn't realize he was so transparent. Had it been another girl, Sirius probably would have teased James for blushing like a girl, but it was Lily, and, well, _he _liked Evans. Since two years ago, actually, and so Sirius wasn't really sure what to feel about James declaration.

He had been mulling over this about quite some time, really, ever since he caught James staring, love struck, at Lily during Charms class.

He had decided to not tell his best friend about his feelings, because he felt that he had to support James. James was like his brother. He'd be betraying James if he went after Lily too.

Besides, he knew that no matter how much he liked lily, his family would sooner kill him than approve of Lily. Actually, they'd probably kill Lily, since he was still their son and pureblood families value blood ties above all else. He paled at the thought of his Lily getting hurt. No, it was better if Lily ended up with James, really.

Everyone would be better off that way.

Lily would one day love James back and then James would be ecstatic and they'd live happily ever after. They'd have children and he'll be the godfather and he'll get to see Lily happy. Everybody wins.

Sirius shook himself out of his thoughts, he really was thinking too far ahead.

But it was true, Lily would be better off with James, so Sirius would give her up. He didn't mind, not really – Prongs was his brother after all – or so he tried to convince himself.

So what was this heavy weight that settled in the pit of his stomach, then?

Hogwarts castle, Gryffindor Girls' Dormitory, 1974

"Shut up, Wormtail, you're making too much noise!"

Peter let out a squeal when he saw a rat scurrying along the passage.

"Honestly, you're a rat animagus yourself, you know."

The four Marauders finally reached the end of the passage. Carefully, they slid open the stone statue guarding the entrance of the passageway very slightly to the side.

Remus peered in first. His eyes widened and then his face blushed tomato red. Sirius and James, upon seeing his reaction, promptly hauled him away and took his place peering into the room beyond.

It was the 5th year girls' dormitory.

Sirius felt his breath catch. He stared up at a figure lounging on the bed, captivated.

Lily was wearing a silky nightdress, and her hair fell in soft waves, framing her face perfectly as she read her book. Her gaze focused intently on the page, her green eyes darting along each line.

It struck him that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever met.

Hogwarts Express, The last compartment, 1975

"Lily was the other prefect," Remus announced as he entered.

James narrowed his eyes, "Since when are you on a first-name basis with her?"

Remus simply shrugged.

Jealous, James launched into a tirade about how he better not have a crush on Lily because she was _his_ Lily and Remus better watch out.

Flabbergasted, Remus tried to explain that he was just friends with Lily. But James brushed him off and started ranting that Remus better not take advantage of Lily when they are doing patrols at night, or else.

Sirius rolled his eyes and tuned them out.

Remus didn't like Lily that way. Actually, Remus didn't like any _girl_ that way.

So, really, he wasn't worried.

Besides, why should he be?

He had decided to give Lily up, so he didn't quite have a reason to feel jealous or anything, or so he told himself.

But Sirius couldn't deny that he was oddly happy that at least it wasn't _James_ who was chosen as prefect.

He frowned, not liking the direction of his thoughts.

"Want to play Exploding Snap, anyone?" he asked loudly.

Hogwarts castle, Charms Classroom, 1976

"Don't worry about it, Prongs. It's her loss, really," Remus tried to comfort his friend.

"She hates me, Moony. _Hates_ me. I gave her flowers and she threw it back at me. I tried serenading her and she laughed at me. I honestly don't know what to do to get her to like me," James whined miserably.

"Well, technically, mate, you dropped the bouquet on her head. Of course she'd be annoyed. Not to mention, your singing was terrible. I was honestly shocked that none of the windows cracked. I expected her to hex you. You really should be glad that she only laughed." Sirius said, grinning with amusement.

"Thanks, Padfoot, your sarcasm is very much appreciated."

"No problem, Prongs, I know you love me."

"Git."

"Arse."

When James turned to talk to Remus, Sirius felt his grin slide off his face. He should be feeling bad for James, he knew, but he couldn't help but be relieved that Lily had once again turned James down.

Hogwart Castle, By the lake, 1976

['I'm bored' said Sirius. 'Wish it was full moon.'

'You might,' said Lupin darkly from behind his book. 'We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here…' and he held out his book.

But Sirius snorted. 'I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.'

'This'll liven you up, Padfoot,' said James quietly. 'Look who it is…'

Sirius's head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit.

'Excellent,' he said softly. 'Snivellus.'] (taken from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

He was only just starting to have fun, and the crowd was cheering riotously as Snape tried vainly to spit out the soap bubbles.

Then, Lily appeared, furious.

She argued angrily with James, defending the slimy-haired git, but then he called her a word that stopped her furious tirade mid-track.

_Mudblood, _Snape called her.

['Apologise to Evans!' James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

'I don't want you to make him apologise,' Lily shouted, rounding on James. 'You're as bad as he is.'

'What?' yelped James. 'I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!'

'Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.'

She turned on her heel and hurried away.

'Evans!' James shouted after her. 'Hey, EVANS!'

But she didn't look back.] (taken from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

Equally livid, the moment Lily was out of side, Sirius turned his wand on Snape, and once again, Snape was hung up in the air, his dirty grey underpants shown for everyone to see. Then, the torment continued.

Later that night, an image of Lily's furious expression cropped up in his mind unbidden. Sirius tried to recall every single detail of her features. He recalled how her bright, emerald green orbs were blazing with fire.

Lily had the most stunning eyes, he mused.

Then, he remembered the hurt that flashed momentarily in her eyes. He felt his anger surge. He'd make Snivellus pay, Sirius vowed, for causing such an ugly feeling to taint Lily's enchantingly green eyes.

Then, as he dozed off, a vague plan consisting of a leaked secret and a little tip during the full moon formed in his mind.

Hogwarts Castle, Gryffindor common room, 1977

"Yes."

Everyone froze. The previously chaotic common room was suddenly deathly quiet.

"Yes?" James dumbly asked.

"Yes, Potter, I'll go out with you. Is something wrong with your ears?" Lily rolled her eyes impatiently.

Jams stared at her in amazement.

An hour later, his shock finally wore off, and the realization that Lily Evans agreed to go out with him finally sunk in. Abruptly, he stood up on his chair and let out a loud whoop of joy, drawing everyone's attention.

"Seriously, Prongs, your mental capacity is astonishingly slow," Remus remarked dryly.

Across the room, Lily tried to suppress a smile.

Then James rounded to Sirius, "She said yes, mate! Did you hear her? She said yes! I'm going out with Lily!"

"Yeah, I heard her, an hour ago. I hate to agree with Moony, but you are remarkably slow on the uptake you know," Sirius drawled, an amused grin stretching his lips.

But James was too excited and exultantthat he did not feel the slightest bit offended.

Instead, he smiled brightly and said, "Thanks, Padfoot."

Peter let out an amused squeak while Remus shook his head, laughing.

Sirius rolled his eyes, grin still fixed in place, until he met Lily's eyes.

He immediately turned away, not wanting her to see through his cheerful façade.

That night, he went to sleep early, claiming that he wasn't feeling well. Ignoring Remus's worried suggestions that he go to the Hospital Wing, he went up to the dormitories.

As he lied down on his bed, Sirius finally let his mask slip, let the tears fall. It may be cliché, but when he met Lily's eyes, he really felt like his heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. So the tears continued to fall, until a million crystalline drops were shed, and Sirius finally tired himself and fell into a restless slumber.

Godric's Hollow, Church, 1979

The lace that wrapped around her skin sparkled and her face shone with joy.

Lily looked absolutely _beautiful_.

Then as she walked down the aisle, she met his eyes, and his heart clenched in pain.

Luckily, her gaze slid to James, who was gazing at her, mesmerized.

When they kissed, it was all Sirius could do to hold the tears back, to keep smiling, because he simply couldn't ruin this day for Lily.

He didn't matter. What he felt didn't matter. Today, it was about Lily, and Sirius would gladly do _anything _for Lily.

He watched as they danced their first dance as husband and wife.

He watched how they were enraptured with each other, how they never took their eyes of the other. Even when they talked to the guests, their gazes would inadvertently slide back to the other, and a happy smile would light up their faces.

By the end of the day, Sirius was absolutely exhausted.

He staggered to where he kept some of his finest firewhisky.

Then he spent the whole night drinking, crying, because he knew then that it was too late. He knew that Lily would never be his.

He thought he had made the right decision surrendering her to James many years ago. But he wasn't so sure now, because it just _hurts. _It hurts too much and Sirius finally sobbed himself to sleep.

St. Mungo's Hospital, Pregancy Ward, 1980

It was a boy. A beautiful baby boy, with his features exactly like James, except for his eyes. His eyes were like Lily's, a strikingly vivid green.

Sirius smiled fondly at the sleeping baby, at Lily's son.

'Prongs Jr.', Remus dubbed the baby. Sirius frowned. It wasn't fair – the boy was Lily's too.

They decided on naming him Harry. It was Sirius's suggestion.

It didn't matter that it was _James _son and that he really, truly wished that Harry was _his._

He loved Lily, so that extends to her son, too. Sirius smiled softly as James passed the baby along to him.

The war had begun, and he'd protect Lily, and her son, no matter what.

So the next day, he suggested that they use Peter as a secret keeper. This way, if the Death Eaters came after him because he was the obvious choice, no matter how hard they tried to force the Potters' whereabouts out of him, they wouldn't be able to, because he wasn't the real secret keeper.

Sirius really didn't care that the Death Eaters might torture him to the brink of death. He only cared about protecting Lily, and her family.

That was all that counted.

Godric's Hollow, The Potter's Residence, 1981

Sirius stood before the ruins of the Potters house, staring unseeingly at the wreckage.

Peter had betrayed them. The Potters were dead.

James and Lily, beautiful Lily, they're _dead_, and he as good as skilled him.

Sirius let out an anguish scream into the silent night, and collapsed to his knees.

A moment later, he picked himself up, and he set off into the night to find Peter, a crazed look in his haunted eyes.

_He'd avenge Lily. _

-Fin-

A/N: Reviews and constructive feedback would be very nice =)


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